"Well, she must have been in a lot of pain, cos she was moaning
and groaning, and her boyfriend kept rubbing her all over. And
the pain must have gotten worse, cos she groaned louder, and he
rubbed harder. And she must have been really sick with a fever,
cos she kept saying she was hot.

And suddenly this big eel came up, and it must have been dangerous
cos she grabbed it by the neck and bit it, and all its poison came
out, but she kept biting it till it was dead. And I knew it was
dead cos it hung limp.

But suddenly the eel came alive again, cos it stood straight up.
And my sister tried to kill it by sitting on it. And it wouldn't
die. And she must have hurt her boyfriend too cos he was screaming.
And it lay sort of flat, so she thought it must be dead.

But then it came alive AGAIN!!! So my sister tried strangling it by
using a scissor lock with her legs, and she kept squeezing and
twisting it. And then I knew it was dead, cos her boyfriend grabbed
it by the neck, pulled it out all limp, pulled the skin off and threw
it into the toilet!

A old lady was lying on her death bed and her husband was sitting
by her side when the wife turned to her husband and said, "I have
to tell you something. In my underwear drawer is a black box. Look
in it and come back to me and tell me what you see.

So the husband went home and looked in the box and found 50,000
dollars and 3 eggs.

The next day the husband went back to his wife and said he had found
50,000 dollars and 3 eggs, and then he asked what the money and eggs
where for. The wife replied, "Each time we made love and I was
disappointed I put 1 egg in the box."

The husband smiled because there were so few eggs in the box, but his
wife quickly noticed the smile out of the corner of her eye and said,
"Every time I collected 1 dozen eggs I would sell them in the market
and put the money in the black box."


Mr. Harkins, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's junior
college, said during class, "Miss Henry, would you please name the
organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions,
expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions."

Miss Henry gasped, then said freezingly, "Mr. Harkins, I don't think that
is a proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of
this."

With that she sat down red-faced. Unperturbed, Mr. Harkins called on Miss
Johnson and asked the same question. Miss Johnson, with composure,
replied, "The pupil of the eye, in dim light."

"Correct," said Mr. Harkins. "And now, Miss Henry, I have three
things to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two,
you have a dirty mind. And three, you will some day be faced with a
dreadful disappointment."